Recipe for a Perfect Birth | Indie Birth

Podcast

Recipe for a Perfect Birth

December 15, 2019

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We're Maryn + Margo

We are mamas and birth workers who decided to do birth differently– and bring others along with us. We are kind, fun to work with, and great at (lovingly) calling people on their bullshit when necessary. With 11 children and 16 years of midwifery between us, we’ve learned a thing or two along the way, and Indie Birth is our space to share it all with you.

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Listen in on my “Recipe for a Perfect Birth”!
** Spoiler alert for this podcast: There IS NO recipe for a “perfect birth”; and what does that mean anyhow?

Join me as I look into the close up view on things we think matter. Then, we’ll back up our view and consider that maybe nothing matters. I hope this podcast helps inspire you to control the things you can, and let go of the things that are weighing you down! The best place to make your own choices is inside of yourself.

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  1. Kat says:

    I wasn’t able to leave a review on iTunes, something wrong with my phone…this is what I wanted to write, which I also think applies to this episode:

    I have listened to almost every single episode and love the podcast. To echo others, I think Maryn speaks her mind in a free flowing way. I especially love how she pays attention to building a birth culture that supports autonomy for women and encourages their intuition. I appreciate how she dives into more philosophical thoughts around how we can be representing and teaching about birth in a way that empowers women to embody the mindset of autonomy and “take back birth”. To foster the mindset of autonomy it seems really important to say there is not guidebook, there is no one way or path, there is only your way – I love the paradigm and wisdom in that approach. Autonomy has been a consistent thread explored across many types of content on the podcast in a very organic way. Another theme I really like is how they portray birth as both simple and universal, but also infinitely complex and unique – which then makes sense for why the mindset of autonomy is so important because everyone is different and needs to listen to their own wisdom and intuition. Thank you for speaking your truth and offering the community your wisdom grown from years of experience and reflection, and also thank you for making so many resources available for free. It’s a blessing!

  2. Emily M says:

    I so deeply appreciate you leaving social media. It furthers my trust in you and your company. I left social media six months ago and my life is better for it. Leaving social media has deepened my real life relationships through a better attention to the present moment. It has also freed up space in my mind and heart to know how I feel about things as opposed to how I “should or should not” feel about things depending on all the opinions I hear spewed online. I think social media lacks holding people accountable for their actions, helps people breed persona’s, and is such an easy place to say things flippantly without consequence. And you’re right, it is addictive. I was motivated to leave when I realized the “community” I thought I had was a hollow shell of support. I came to realizations about not ever wanting to commodify compassion, care, or community. Our world has done enough of that. I believe people should be compensated for their services, of course. I’m a birth worker, post partum care doula, and a self contracted yoga teacher. I get it! However, I ask myself often how money as a motivation for this type of work may change the work itself.

    As a person who has birthed her way through dangerous, cult like experiences in the yoga community, I am thankfully able to apply a lot of critical thinking to said experiences in other communities. I draw on questions like “does the teacher/leader adhere to beliefs so strongly, it compromises me being safe when I follow them?” “Do I feel dismissed, coerced or bullied by this person or group?” OR “Am I dismissing, coercing, or bullying myself in order to belong?” Or worse even ” Am I being dismissive, coercive, or a bully to others in order to keep my beliefs alive?” (When I answered yes to the last one in my yoga teaching career, I knew it was time to make some changes that orientated me back to integrity.) If ever I feel like I’m in the cast of the movie “Mean Girls,” I back away slowly and do not engage. When aligned with truth, I KNOW when something is motivated by ego or heart. It’s easy to feel and over time it’s been easier to follow my heart. Now, there’s no other way. Love is not polarized in the same way my mind is. Love just IS. Does that mean I live to keep status quo’s alive? No. However I am unwilling to make it my work to change peoples minds. Rather, I’ll love humans through their own processes, have boundaries on where and how I work, and continue to use kindness as a through line to connection. To me, this is what Indie Birth represents. You’re grounded in what you know to be true therefore being defensive is not needed. Though I didn’t resonate with all of what you said in “The Podcast,” it touched my heart deeply when you spoke words I had thought just days before. You helped confirm what I was questioning. Days before the launch of that episode, I so clearly remember standing at my sink, washing dishes, thinking “wait wait wait! this ‘call out culture’ that is pretending to be a ‘sisterhood’ is still holding POWER OVER instead of GIVING POWER TO.” To me, space holding is about love. Space holding is about being unattached to any of my inner motivations and being in AWE of the person doing the work. Holding space is about inclusivity. It is not self righteous but instead curious and trust filled. For me, what cultivates real change is coming to my real life relationships and saying “I’m ashamed/sad/troubled/having a hard time/mad/confused…” and the other person looking at me and saying “I love you. I love you no matter what.” It’s exacly the love without condition that produces positive change in people’s lives. It’s not “I love you if…(you freebirth, are vegan, vote the same as I vote.) Love is respect and non attachment. Both are needed to hold space for humans as they do human things.

    Thank you for the beautiful work that you share. Your company inspires me. I feel loved and respected in your space.

    PS/ I only got as far as you leaving social media on this episode! I needed to comment NOW. I may have more to say after I listen to the whole thing. 😉

  3. Maryn Green says:

    Aw thank you for this, Emily. It is so real and touching and vulnerable and I thank you personally for sharing and also validating and hearing me.:) I very much value people like you, and your support and mostly your own true words of “POWER OVER” instead of “giving POWER TO”. We love and respect you as well. And yes, thoughts on this episode if and when you have them! It may have been a bit of a ramble but my mind was still clearing out the cobwebs of social media. HAH. Love, Maryn

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We are mamas and birth workers who decided to do birth differently– and bring others along with us. We are kind, fun to work with, and great at (lovingly) calling people on their bullshit when necessary. With 11 children and 16 years of midwifery between us, we’ve learned a thing or two along the way, and Indie Birth is our space to share it all with you.

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