I so deeply appreciate you leaving social media. It furthers my trust in you and your company. I left social media six months ago and my life is better for it. Leaving social media has deepened my real life relationships through a better attention to the present moment. It has also freed up space in my mind and heart to know how I feel about things as opposed to how I “should or should not” feel about things depending on all the opinions I hear spewed online. I think social media lacks holding people accountable for their actions, helps people breed persona’s, and is such an easy place to say things flippantly without consequence. And you’re right, it is addictive. I was motivated to leave when I realized the “community” I thought I had was a hollow shell of support. I came to realizations about not ever wanting to commodify compassion, care, or community. Our world has done enough of that. I believe people should be compensated for their services, of course. I’m a birth worker, post partum care doula, and a self contracted yoga teacher. I get it! However, I ask myself often how money as a motivation for this type of work may change the work itself.

As a person who has birthed her way through dangerous, cult like experiences in the yoga community, I am thankfully able to apply a lot of critical thinking to said experiences in other communities. I draw on questions like “does the teacher/leader adhere to beliefs so strongly, it compromises me being safe when I follow them?” “Do I feel dismissed, coerced or bullied by this person or group?” OR “Am I dismissing, coercing, or bullying myself in order to belong?” Or worse even ” Am I being dismissive, coercive, or a bully to others in order to keep my beliefs alive?” (When I answered yes to the last one in my yoga teaching career, I knew it was time to make some changes that orientated me back to integrity.) If ever I feel like I’m in the cast of the movie “Mean Girls,” I back away slowly and do not engage. When aligned with truth, I KNOW when something is motivated by ego or heart. It’s easy to feel and over time it’s been easier to follow my heart. Now, there’s no other way. Love is not polarized in the same way my mind is. Love just IS. Does that mean I live to keep status quo’s alive? No. However I am unwilling to make it my work to change peoples minds. Rather, I’ll love humans through their own processes, have boundaries on where and how I work, and continue to use kindness as a through line to connection. To me, this is what Indie Birth represents. You’re grounded in what you know to be true therefore being defensive is not needed. Though I didn’t resonate with all of what you said in “The Podcast,” it touched my heart deeply when you spoke words I had thought just days before. You helped confirm what I was questioning. Days before the launch of that episode, I so clearly remember standing at my sink, washing dishes, thinking “wait wait wait! this ‘call out culture’ that is pretending to be a ‘sisterhood’ is still holding POWER OVER instead of GIVING POWER TO.” To me, space holding is about love. Space holding is about being unattached to any of my inner motivations and being in AWE of the person doing the work. Holding space is about inclusivity. It is not self righteous but instead curious and trust filled. For me, what cultivates real change is coming to my real life relationships and saying “I’m ashamed/sad/troubled/having a hard time/mad/confused…” and the other person looking at me and saying “I love you. I love you no matter what.” It’s exacly the love without condition that produces positive change in people’s lives. It’s not “I love you if…(you freebirth, are vegan, vote the same as I vote.) Love is respect and non attachment. Both are needed to hold space for humans as they do human things.

Thank you for the beautiful work that you share. Your company inspires me. I feel loved and respected in your space.

PS/ I only got as far as you leaving social media on this episode! I needed to comment NOW. I may have more to say after I listen to the whole thing. 😉