Taking Back Birth

Mothers At Birth: How to Make the Right Decision For You About Inviting Your Mother To Your Birth

June 3, 2018

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We are mamas and birth workers who decided to do birth differently– and bring others along with us. We are kind, fun to work with, and great at (lovingly) calling people on their bullshit. With 12 children and 20 years of midwifery between us, we’ve learned a thing or two along the way, and Indie Birth is our space to share it all with you.


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This podcast is all about making the right choice, for you, about whether or not to invite your mother to your birth.

There’s a lot to think about!

Download this podcast transcript


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  1. Johanna says:

    I actually looked for this podcast after I had already invited my mom to my birth. ( My husband had asked me to invite my mom because he has never witnessed a birth and ge knew that my mom was the only person who attended my sisters labor 5 years ago) had Part of the way through listening to the pod cast I received a text from my mom asking me to “please order protein test urine strips “in case my blood pressure rises. I had been asking her to listen to the pod casts I had sent her links to because I really wanted to be sure we were on the same page. My mom is a wise woman she has never been afraid of labor I grew up not fearing pain or childbirth she is in essence the “type of mom you would expect would be a great birth attendant and she had proven that with my sister already. Yet she also will fixate on a subject and get kinda wackadoodle about a article she read on a subject. She kinda wants to be an herbalist and a healer but it because im her child it translates more like a neurotic over bearing mother . And often is very unfounded and uneducated. As I tried to expose the multitude of reasons why I had no intention of buying protein test strips I could feel she was missing the entire role I was wanting from her. I expressed my transmission from wanting her at the birth as a watchful eye for danger and now my desire was fir her to be at a friend’s house similar to a waiting room so if my husband wanted to ask a question she would be close by. Basically saying I don’t need or even really want anyone there except my husband .I don’t even want my teen age children there and they have been at all 4 previous births. She still refused to listen. It got very apperant to me that I had a lot of work to establish my autonomy. I told her I did not want any suggestions and the only person I would be asking any questions to would be my baby inside my belly her response was “will you ask your baby if you should get the urine strips?” I did a very good job at defusing my anger and dove into a 2 hour conversation explaining autonomy and Intuitive birthing and my process and my trust in my body and my fears and how I am resolving them she listened well and I thought we had a beautiful agreement. Then this morning she texted me a link that was something http://www.healthybloodpresure.com not that . I could feel an adrenaline rush .I was pissed .I almost did not read it and then when I did I was shocked it suggested eating bananas and drinking hibiscus tea… I was like wtf?! She is actually nutz. If my blood pressure rises to dangerous levels drinking hibiscus tea is not going to stop a seizure. If she thought it would the respectful thing to do would be to brew some.. I gently texted back .”please remember I asked for no suggestions please stop researching on line and please stop giving me suggestions.” She got very offended and told me she was feeling silenced and this brought up past trauma from my past marriage and she had to step out and no longer attend my birth. I was super sad that she was not able to handle my boundaries but I was also super thankful I had Intuitively set up the dialogue to state my needs firmly so that we both could see we did not want this dynamic in the sacred space. She later wrote she was over it and hope she did not cause to much anxiety. I down played my anx. Because I am way more concerned about not having stress right now but I was really greatful for the wisdom you added to this podcast saying even if you think it is a match interview her educate her and if you can’t do the work before definitely don’t bring the work to the birth. Thanks that’s my fresh out look.

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Meet the duo behind Indie Birth

We are mamas and midwives who decided to do birth differently– and bring others along with us. We are radical, fun to work with, and great at (lovingly) calling people on their bullshit to help move us all towards a new more beautiful world. With 12 children and over two decades of midwifery between us, we’ve learned a thing or two along the way, and Indie Birth is our space to share it all with you.

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